It isn’t always easy to reject someone who’s hitting on you. Maybe you don’t want to watch them lose motivation in front of you. Maybe you’re scared of what their reaction might be. After all, having a slurred hurled at you for turning down someone’s advances is pretty much the best thing that could happen.
So, sometimes a little white lie might be the most prudent course of action. Of course, giving them a random number might just pass the awkward to someone else. I remember being called once by someone who thought they’d gotten the number of someone they’d met at the club. I did my best to let them down easy, but it was still pretty awkward for both of us.
Wouldn’t it be great if the awkwardness could be limited to just the person being rejected? We thought so too, which is why we put together this list of funny numbers you can memorize and give out instead of your own.
605-475-6968 – This is a dedicated rejection hotline. Call it, and a recorded message will let the caller know they got rejected.
206-569-5829 – This line is run by Movin’ 92.5, a radio station in Seattle. If the person you’ve rejected leaves a weird enough voicemail, it might get played on-air!
515-808-2362 – Y’know that John Cena meme? This is that, complete with ear-bursting airhorns.
570-387-0000 – The 4 zeros at the end of this one might be a giveaway that it’s not a residential number. It says “Thank you for calling Bell Atlantic. Due to an emergency condition, we are operating with a reduced staff, and you may experience delay.”
914-737-9938 – “This a CPTA announcement test. Uh, I don’t know what it’s supposed to say; I’m not that concerned with it. So if anyone gets this just just disregard it, k, and hang up.”
719-26-OATES – This number asks you which Hall & Oates classic you’d like to hear.
918-760-3275 – [edit: Apparently this one is now just some dude in Oklahoma, so maybe don’t call it.] Another music number, this one plays a Death Grips single.
401-285-0701 – Want to outsource your date to a call center in Bangalore, India? Give them this number.